My Squirrel-friend

Some people have cats, dogs, birds, lizards or fish. They keep them... as pets... generally indoors. I have sublated the pet-relation: squirrel friend.
My squirrel-friend whom I have named, Deez, to allow for (in?)appropriate nut related jokes, lives in the courtyard and area surrounding Cloyne court. Deez, is a fox squirrel (Sciurus niger), although he may have some eastern grey squirrel in him. I have heard reports of inter-mating between the two populations. He enjoys almonds, brazil nuts and walnuts. He doesn't care for cashews, or my personal favorite, sesame honey cashews. Im amassing a rather large store of raw nuts in my bedroom now.
Deez and I met when a few weeks ago I was finishing some Logic homework and noticed him pushing on my windows in my fishbowl (window room, which i am currently using as the bedroom). He seemed very interested in me, so I opened a window and dropped a brazil nut on the ledge. I have to mention that this was very ironic to me, because my father and some of my friends have often remarked that I WAS a squirrel and offered to buy me birdseed and the like to munch on. So, of course, I had a brazil nut handy, when per chance an actual squirrel came to pay visit to the metaphorical squirrel. I am tempted to digress into a commentary on metaphor and names and reference but I will resist that for now, in favor of my new friend.
After he (or she, I havent quite determined the gender yet) happily ingested the brazil nut, I opened the window again and he approached. I am curious by nature and I admit rather reckless, but I placed another nut in my hand to see if he would take it. The smile of bemusement that crossed and in fact continues to dominate my face is absurd. He now visits me approximately once a day and will travel as far as my computer in the adjacent room to retrieve my scrumptious squirrelly snacks. He is tame but not at all domesticated. Last weekend I found that he (fearless) will even take an almond from atop my knee using his front paws against me for balance. Amazing that he retains all of the "dont touch me bitch, I will bite you" attitudes as well. If you are interested in observing Deez, here is a video I made last week: Squirrel me!
He is very aggressive, which, the more I learn, seems to be indicative of his species. He woke me from a nap by scratching at the window above my head on our third interaction. He is only slightly cautious around strangers, scampering away at their introduction, but returning to me in their presence only a few minutes later. He does not eat all the nuts I give him. He generally eats the first few and then carries the remaining cache down the palm tree outside my fishbowl to the courtyard below. Based on ruminations in my head concerning the potential for new growth in cloyne's courtyard Ive begun feeding him mostly walnuts as walnut trees are gorgeous and more importantly walnuts are a favorite we both share, that does not smack of cyanide.

So far he has not discovered the secret hiding place (the mother-load) of nuts stocked atop my over-sized books, which means roughly between the Louvre-führung and Une Semaine De Bonte - I hate how miscellaneous that shelf becomes over time. Its upsetting to me that the bookmakers have forced me to arrange them according to Form rather than Function. And now a picture of me playing on the floor with a squirrel... to combat with sheer absurdity the anal-retentive-ness made apparent by the last comment (or by the desire to expound upon anal retention vis-a-vis Freud):

and here is a photo micah sent me of me feeding Deez:


I learned while researching the origins of my new friend, that squirrels are quite the controversy on the berkeley campus, as a terror and as a source of pride.
First, as a source of pride, UC Berkeley apparently has the best college squirrel population, there is an article here. The source behind this, I was amused to discover is a website known as the Campus Squirrel Listings, which believes that a university can be judged by its squirrel population. God bless the internet for providing me with this kind of endless entertainment. Just the fact that this site exists gives me boundless pleasure. Now, according to what I have found the title UC Berkeley has as best squirrel university is highly contested by Stanford. Although I couldnt care less about rivalry it intrigues me to find out that alumni and students on both sides are actually petitioning and in other ways striving to best one another with respect to their squirrel populations. Humanity might not be of the greater good, but at least we are hilarious.
Some do not welcome the beautiful mania that is squirrel-pride, no, others are more skeptical of our bushytailed friends. Scary Squirrel world has a perverse squirrel themed paranoid conspiracy theory, which is, you know, grand actually, score point 2 for humanity!
And Huzzah for the BBC for giving us this piece of necessary news.
Reasons my squirrel friend is superior to your standard pet relationships:
1. Deez does not live with me
2. There is no litter disposal or walks to deal with
3. Im not technically breaking my rental contract
4. If Im typing on my computer or reading a book Deez does not try to walk on the keyboard or otherwise distract me
5. does not cost me a dime

SUCKAS!

xoxoxoxooxox
Lorien